Trust Me…Others See Your Brokenness.
In my life I’ve noticed that I could keep my addictions hidden from others for a short period of time. I was able to keep my pornography addiction and other sexual sins (addictions) from my then wife and friends. At least I thought I could hide the addictions and behaviours from those closest and around me.
But others can sense something is wrong. They would have known that I was hiding something from them. If you are addicted to pornography, sexual sin, gambling, or other behaviours that you are trying to hide you will know what I mean. Defensive behaviours give us away, time away from the spouse, unaccounted spending (to feed the addiction), late nights out or on the computer, secrecy with your phone…. We might think we are hiding the addiction from those around us but deep down we know that they suspect something is not right. Hence our secrecy. Hence the anger directed to those closest to us when they challenge us about our behaviours.
When a problem is shared the saying goes that ‘the problem is halved.’ There is more effective way to help solve a problem. This is through the grace of Jesus our Lord and Saviour. The following Bible message shows the power of Jesus’ grace when someone chose to call out to Him and seek help:
Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus, was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” So, they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.” “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road. Mark 10:46-52 NIV.
Bartimaeus knew that Jesus would help him. Bartimaeus called out to Jesus repeatably. Bartimaeus did not give up. He kept calling out. Those around Bartimaeus knew that he had a problem, and that Jesus could heal him. Jesus stopped walking through the crowd and asked Bartimaeus to walk to him and to ask him (Jesus) what he wanted. Reading this verse, it’s obvious that Bartimaeus wanted to be healed from his blindness. Those around him knew that he wanted to be healed. Jesus knew it too. But Jesus wanted Bartimaeus to make the first move. All Bartimaeus had to do was call out and ask Jesus to remove his blindness. Bartimaeus was healed because he sought Jesus and through faith asked for a healing with his blindness.
My pornography and sexual addictions were broken when I sought Jesus. When I asked Jesus to help me by removing these sins from my life. When I took that step and openly asked Jesus for healing with my addictions and sexual sins. Overtime I have struggled with sexual sin but because of Jesus’ unconditional grace I am able to repent and ask for forgiveness for my sexual sins.
Beating any addiction and staying free from it feels like an ongoing battle. It is important and wise to disclose sexual sins to people who are strong in their faith. Their prayers and support are powerful. We know that when ‘two or more are gathered in My name, I am there among them’ – Matthew 18:20. When I made a mistake I contacted my prayer partner and confessed my sins. I don’t recommend asking just anyone for prayer, it is prudent because of the shame around sexual addictions and addictions in general to seek support from those who are confidential and strong in their Christian faith.
Just as those around Bartimaeus knew what was wrong in his life. Just as Jesus knew what was wrong with Bartimaeus …. Those closest to you will know or suspect that you are involved in pornography or sexual sins or battling another addiction. Seek support, help is here and available. It can take time to break addictions. Don’t give up. Don’t feel condemned or a failure because of mistakes. Beating addiction is a journey. Seek Godly support and ask God for help in breaking your addictions. Those around you love you and want you healed and made whole. Feel free to contact us. We provide free and confidential support.
By Anon
