Seek Help. God Resists the Proud
Like most of us I work with one or two people who engage in ‘gaslighting.’ It’s difficult working with them.
One of them engages in denial and blame when they do something wrong. I honestly feel like I’m working with a 6-year-old who chooses not to admit that they ate the chocolate (despite the chocolate on their face and hands.)
I learnt something the other day when I was contemplating their behaviour. They are too proud to stop and admit that they made a mistake. Everything could be resolved if they admitted that they were wrong and that they needed help.
I was like that with my sexual sins. I justified my behaviour in a number of ways (including excuses such as ‘everyone does it, it’s ok it’s only online, if my marriage was better, I wouldn’t do this, it’s not a real person (just an actress).’ I’m sure you know the excuses; we use excuses to justify our behaviour.
Eventually it was too much. My porn and sex addiction was ruining my ability to live a normal healthy life. I had to humble myself and look for help. I could not find help or a program that allowed me to conquer my addictions without specifically admitting the behaviours. It would have been a lot easier if I could have received help without admitting my behaviour (in terms of ego.) I had to admit that it was my behaviours that were wrong. That I made the decisions to engage in sexual behaviour outside of marriage (including pornography.) This is part of the accountability process.
I could have acted like the colleague who gaslights and blamed others. But this was not going to support my recovery. I had to ‘eat humble pie’ and own my behaviours. I confessed my addictions to Mark and other Christians who were non-judgmental and believed in the power of prayer, confession and equally important were willing to support me.
My confession was required because ‘God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble’ (1 Peter 5:5b).
I personally don’t think that we can beat sexual addictions without admitting or confessing them. We live in a world where promiscuous sex and pornography is normalized in the media, accessible online 24-7, and part of ‘dating.’ When I humbled myself and confessed the sin, a weight fell off my shoulders. I slept well for the first time in years. I was now able to listen to advice on how to overcome addictions and move forward. There have been challenges and I have made mistakes. The difference now is that I don’t let the mistakes define me. I am forgiven.
We know that King David admitted his adultery with another man’s wife to Samuel. It was in his confession that he was forgiven (2 Samuel 12:13)
If sexual sin is an issue; no matter what it is…. I encourage you to contact us on this link. If the King of Israel was wise enough to confess his sins, then it is safe to say it’s prudent to confess your sins. Confession brings healing.
We are confidential, willing, and wanting to help.
By JS
