It is a good idea to write a list of the traits that one wants in a spouse. If you are single I encourage you to do it.
My list was titled ‘Traits I Desire in A Spouse.’ These are traits that I would find in my ideal spouse.
The list is:
1. Active faith in God. I believe in God and I want a spouse who shares this faith.
2. Trustworthy. I have to be able to trust my spouse.
3. Sober. I want a spouse who is free from addictions.
4. Long-term thinker. I want a spouse who can plan ahead. I don’t want to go through life making decisions that are based on immediate needs or wants while neglecting the need to focus on long-term financial commitments.
5. Activities / hobbies. I enjoy the outdoors and I want to spend time with my spouse in the outdoors.
Looking at my list I realised that I need to live up to my expectations of my ideal spouse. Am I actively living out my faith in God or areas that I need to address and stop doing? Am I trustworthy? Can my spouse leave me alone with my laptop while she is outside? Am I sober and free from addictions? Especially in areas of sexual addiction. Do I think long-term? Or am I more interested in immediate gratification?
My list is a reminder that the traits that I want in a spouse are how God wants me to live. As such I must live accordingly and actively live out the traits that I want in my spouse. When temptation comes my way what will I choose to do? One of my favourite verses when temptation comes my way is – No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
When I am tempted I pray for help to overcome the temptation. God has promised that He will help us overcome temptations.
My idea spouse is a committed Christian. I need to be the ideal for spouse for her and I can only achieve this by being a committed Christian. Jesus wants us all to live such lives. If you are struggling with sexual addictions or you have question about the Christian faith feel free to contact us. We know what you are facing. We have been there too.
By JS
