The King’s Guilt and Shame is the Same as Our Guilt and Shame.
King David was a mighty warrior who conquered those who fought against him. He consistently and willingly led his army into battle many times.
But his inability to control his hormones was an issue that had consequences for his life that not even he imagined. King David slept with someone who wasn’t his wife. She was married to a soldier in David’s army. David made a bad decision worse after she became pregnant. He thought he had resolved the problem. Except he had broken one of God’s moral laws. David was an emotional wreck. The following two Psalms show how difficult life was for David emotionally, physical and spiritually.
Psalm 51 was written by King David after he had been exposed as an adulterer. It is a powerful poem that shows his guilt, shame and ultimately his relief when his affair with Bathsheba was exposed.
Psalm 32 acknowledges David’s ongoing guilt before his sin was exposed. This psalm is more powerful because it acknowledges and exposes the fact that sexual sin is wrong. We feel guilty when we know that we have done something wrong.
Psalm 32:3 When I kept silent, my bones grew old
Through my groaning all the day long.
This is the words of a man with a heavy conscience. He is suffering because of his decision to engage in behaviour that goes against God’s plan.
Psalm 32:4 & 5
4 For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My vitality was turned into the drought of summer.
5 I acknowledged my sin to You,
And my iniquity I have not hidden.
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
And You forgave the iniquity of my sin.
Verse 4 shows that David was guilty because he had broken God’s law regarding sex. He was suffering and he only started to receive forgiveness when he confessed his sin in verse 5.
The good news is that through genuine repentance that involves changing your behaviour to align with God’s plan; you will walk and live freely in God’s plan for your life and for her life.
To change you must change your behaviour. The following steps have helped me and others break free from sexual sin:
1. When you see someone you find attractive look away. Look at your phone or anything to stop you looking again at her and focusing on her looks.
2. Don’t use pornography. Pornography is a gateway to further sexual sin. If you are using pornography feel free to contact us as this is a difficult addiction to overcome on your own.
3. View every woman you see and meet as someone’s daughter or sister. You wouldn’t want any male sinning sexually with your daughter or sister. It’s time to stop viewing women for sexual gratification.
4. Fully understand the gravity of your sin. Sin is real. Decisions made here and now affect your eternity.
5. Learn from other men’s mistakes. Look at the effect that sexual sin or infidelity had on their marriage, their relationships with family, their employment (people have lost employment opportunities because of their behaviour), look at broken relationships, consider the financial cost to you in terms of ongoing child support costs and starting again financially when the family house is sold as part of the divorce settlement along with the other assets being divided.
6. Read the bible and understand what God has to say about sexual sin.
7. Talk to a close trusted friend or minister about your emotions. Often the feelings of lust are passing. The woman that you want to sleep with will probably not be in your life in 6 months’ time. Why risk everything for a temporary experience? Feel free to contact us to discuss the situation.
8. I once read that the first trait that we love about our spouse that disappears is her ‘physical attractiveness.’ While her personality and everything else that we love about her increases in value. Don’t sleep around just because you are starting to find your spouse less physically attractive. Your mistress will also become unattractive. Focus on the other aspects of your wife that you love and bring you happiness, joy and pleasure.
If you are in a position where you are involved in sexual sin and want to talk to someone feel free to contact us. Whether it be pornography, lust, premarital sex or adultery we are able and wanting to help. We are confidential and nonjudgmental.
By JS – ‘forgiven and redeemed.’ But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear Him, and His righteousness with their children’s children. Psalm 103:17
