Don’t Perv.
As men we minimize looking at pornography or woman by using the word ‘perv.’ If we were to be honest and use the word ‘pervert’ I am sure we would feel shameful for our behaviour. No one wants to be known as a pervert.
A young teenager in the Bible had the call of God on his life. His faith was such that he was not going to allow an enemy; the giant Goliath to ridicule the Hebrew army or defile God (1 Samuel 17:1-58.) David is described as being ‘youthful and ruddy’ yet he accepted the challenge from Goliath when no other man was willing to take up the fight. We know that David killed Goliath with a sling shot. And that to prove a point David wacked Goliath’s head off with his (Goliath’s) sword.
How then did this youth who grew up to become King of Israel end up becoming a pervert? Simple. He was human. He was tempted. And when he was tempted he gave in to the temptation and slept with another man’s wife.
2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness.) Then she went back home. 5 The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, “I am pregnant.” 2 Samuel 11:2-5
What I admire about David is that he is a ‘man’s man.’ He was not just a man of God, one who had favour in God’s eyes; he was also a warrior. A commander who led his men into battle. A modern day ‘Victorian Cross’ holder and a SAS soldier. The type of man that one would want to follow and be in his presence.
Yet David’s biggest sin was his giving in to his sexual urges. He perved at another man’s wife. David lusted after Bathsheba. Instead of turning around and confessing his sin to God; he went and found out who she was, then had her brought to him where he then had sex with her. David could have stopped this happening at any point in time between perving at her and having sexual intercourse with her. King David simply failed to control his sexual desires.
This shows the power of ‘perving.’ Whether one pervs at pornography in a magazine, online or at a strip club or has an affair. King David is not alone in his actions. Who hasn’t perved at a pornographic photo or looked lustfully at a beautiful woman?
We know that David paid a price for his sexual indiscretion. The prophet Nathan challenged David about his behaviour. One of David’s punishments was that he would not experience peace in his family from that point in time. This punishment is fitting and accurate. As man who has used pornography and engaged in sex outside of marriage I can tell you from first-hand experience that one of the outcomes of sexual infidelity and pornography is conflict in marriage. I was constantly covering my tracks so that I was not caught out. I had to lie so many times to my ex-wife and children about where I was going. I sowed mistrust and deceit into my relationship. Conflict occurred on many fronts.
I regret what I did. My behaviour was the same as King David’s. I could have stopped myself, but I acted like a pervert and sought temporary enjoyment with pornography and sex outside of marriage.
Like King David I too had to repent and seek forgiveness from God for my behaviour.
God’s love and grace is unconditional. God knows what we do in the privacy of our rooftop. In the privacy of our bedroom. Like many men who were unfaithful I saw my marriage end. I saw my relationship with my children affected.
I know that I am forgiven by God for my behaviour. Through Christian counselling and prayer with a close support person I am equipped to deal with sexual temptation. I find it easier every week to turn away when tempted. When I do succumb to temptation I go to God and confess my sinful behaviour.
If you find yourself ‘perving’ or you are involved in sexual behaviour outside of marriage, I encourage you to look at King David’s life. He paid a heavy price for his indiscretions. Learn from King David’s mistakes. If you would like help and you want to change your behaviour feel free to contact us. Our support is confidential, and we will walk with you in your journey to break free and be the man that God wants you to be. We can be contacted here.
By Anon. Forgiven and redeemed by God.
